My little Love, Liam : Return to work?

Funny... Maybe two weeks ago, I told Dada that I think it would be cool to go back to work at the daycare next August when you're one and u could have you in daycare with me. I had told Raquel about it to keep me in mind if an opportunity came by and she said of course she'd let me know. Well, this Monday morning as you were asleep with me in bed while DAda was away at work, I received a text message from Raquel. Something I didn't expect til hopefully next year. She told me Ester was leaving the daycare and they would need someone to fill in for the assistant position, if I was interested. I read the message and just didn't reply right away. I just sent the message to your Dada to see what he would say. I think he too, was shocked but happy. Me, I was happy, very happy, but then as you laid asleep with your arms up by your head, I just looked at you and started crying. I don't want to leave our days of being together for so many hours alone. I can't deny it, I do get exhausted, tired, sleepy, frustrated at times but I too have the hundreds of moments that you make me smile, laugh, and cry of amazement by just starring at your sweet self. I don't know what to do.

That day, i took you with me to the daycare to talk to Raquel and see what exactly is going on. I would be assistant from 7:15-3:45. You would be in the baby room and she would help me with a big discount, instead of $800 I would pay $300! Wow, what a big savings! But besides that, I think I'm more at a loss of weather to say I'll take the job or pass up the offer. I see the positive side of working, have you with me while I work, you be with little friends, you would learn new things, I would have a few extra bucks to help out Dada, you wouldn't be bored of just being at home. Then I see the negative, other ladies taking care of you, if you cry, I wouldn't be able to care for you as quickly, and I don't think they would either, little accidents would happen like bites, scratches from other babies, you may get sick often from the other kids, more then anything, the time of you and I would be less. That's what hurts me more. When Dada is gone, it's just all about you and me, 10 hours a day for us to play, sleep, laugh, get angry, learn about each other. Raquel needs An answer by Friday. This big part of me wants to say "yes, I'll take it" then this other part of me gets emotional because then I feel like if I'll regret going back to work and not being with you.

I don't know, my lovie, I just don't know what to do.

Dada made some yummy dinner for us