Pre Eclampsia

Since i got pregnant, i kept worrying about not gaining to much weight and i feared getting gestational diabetes. Many weeks went on and i cant say pregnancy has been bad like others say and complain about. But in April, i did start to see things changing. I would wake up feeling so awful, my heart would be pounding, i felt light headed, weak, no energy, like if i was going to faint if i didnt lay down. On top of that, i would get a pain around the middle of my chest area in the same spot that was pretty sharp. i would feel it if i would get up, sit, sneeze, cough, but it would only last a few seconds. On April 22nd, i had a monthly doctor check up. I went alone since i thought like all other appointments, i would be in and out in no time. Luis was at work, no need for him to go to the doctor with me for a quick visit. i had  my blood pressure checked but i wasnt told what the number was. When i saw my doctor, i mentioned to her how i had been feeling for the past 2 weeks and also mentioned my pain. She said it could be gall bladder but that she had seen my blood pressure was high, that it was better i went to labor and delivery for a ultrasound, if all was well, i could go home that same day. i left the  clinic and went to labor and delivery but first i called luis to tell him what was going on. i was scared so i started crying, he assured me he would be on his way to meet up with me. Within minutes, i was in a room, given scrubs and was told to pee in a cup. Perhaps 15-20 min into everything, Luis was by my side. I had an ultrasound done of my kidney, lungs, another ultrasound to check my heart and another for baby. Few hours into it, doctor came in and told us they had found protein in my urine, that i needed to stay for 24 hours to check for pre eclampsia but if all was well, we could go home the following day. That night,  mom and Luis stayed with me, mom was going to leave but i needed her there that night. I went in for a regular dr check up and here i was in the hospital with protein in my urine, high blood pressure numbers and having no idea what the heck everything meant. The next day, finally the 24 hrs test was done and we needed to wait for all results. that afternoon, i had my parents and luis with me when the doctor walked in and said what has changed so much for me. she told me i had mild pre eclampsia, i had protein of 542 in my urine and it was best i stayed at hospital for the next 9 weeks til baby was 37 weeks or if needed to, they would deliver Liam in a emergency c section. Everything was so fast that i had no idea what dr was talking about, all i remember saying to her is that i wanted to go home and i couldnt stay here for 9 weeks. I asked her what was the worst that could happen from having this and she said death for me or baby... it's like my heart, world, everything stopped and turned dark... what the heck happened? i had been feeling okay, my weight was fine, i had no diabetes, baby was growing, how could i end up with this disease that could hurt us so much?! i was in complete denial of staying, i felt like i was being put to jail and i had no right to leave the hospital floor. the doctor left quickly and i was there left with so much anger, i just told my parents what we were told but mom tried to be supportive and said we were in the best place to make sure we would be okay. Her and dad then went to the store to get things for me, i had nothing, no toothbrush, shampoo, soap, nothing to prepare to stay for the next 9 weeks. Thats when i saw things differently... here i was in this bed so angry with myself, the doctor, everything, just being negative but i didnt get to see how this was hurting Luis. I hardly ever see him cry, hes a strong person and stays to himself, but seeing him break down and telling me he needed me to be strong for Liam made me completely snap. Why was i reacting that way if i have this horrible thing and i need to do whats best for myself and my little handsome. Little by little, things got better, i started to accept me having to stay for weeks but everytime my parents would visit and they would leave i couldnt help but get emotional because i wasn't allowed to leave, i wanted to leave with them. Mom took 3 months off work to be with me, during the day while Luis worked, she would be with me, right after work, Luis would spend the afternoon and night with me at the hospital. I would have a few visitors here and there but when the room would have more then 2 people,i felt very overwhelmed. small space, lot of people, not good haha. Every 4 hours, i would get checked on, day and night, it was tough to get good rest or good sleep. On that Sunday, one of the doctors said lets do the 24 hr test again since things have been looking good, my blood pressure was staying normal and ultrasounds were coming out good. he said there could be a chance we could go home. I didnt want to get my hopes up but secretly, i was hoping for good news. The next day, on monday, another dr came by and said my protein had actually gone up to 598 and she didnt think i would be let to go home, even if they saw the numbers the same. I was upset but expected it to happen. I had to keep hanging in there. Tuesday, Luis went to work and mom and me were in the room when my dr came in that morning. She told me that since things were all looking stable, she wanted me to get some blood work done, if they came back good, we could go home, but if not of course we'd need to continue staying. Mom got happy but i didnt want to get happy, not again. She told me not to tell no one, my dad, franco or luis so that they wouldn't get their hopes up either. Around 1pm, my nurse came in, she seemed a bit serious and said "youre going home" right away mom and me started crying! we were going home?! after 7 days and 6 nights, we could go home thanks to things being stable!! i called luis and told him he needed to come back to hospital because we were being sent home. he was so surprised and excited... he got there within 15 min lol. mom quickly started packing up when the nurse told us we were going home. From there, it meant 2 days a week going to the doctor and once a week going to high risk doctor for my ultrasounds. i have strict bed rest at home... for that, during the week, Luis and i stay at my parents so mom can help me while luis is at work. Fridays afternoon, we come home for the weekend and here i have my mister doing everything and anything for me. i dont know what i would do without my mom and my handsome. As of now, im currently 32 weeks and 6 days... ill be 33 weeks tomorrow, we pray for things to stay stable for 4 more weeks. Although last Thursday, i had a dr appt where my blood pressure came out in the 140s over 80s twice so i was sent to labor and delivery once again for 24 hr test. i was upset but i had to hide it since mom was with me, i know she was upset as well. Luis joined us within minutes and we did the same process of 4 hours checks and 24 hr urine test.the next day luis went to work and mom stayed with me at the hospital. around 4pm, the nurse came in with a paper and told me she isnt supposed to be telling us but she had written down the number of my protein results ( i was scared to see it much higher then the last 598 reading) it was 472!! it had actually went down a few points!! i wanted to cry,i looked at mom and she was already crying. i know all of this has been extremely tough, not only on me but luis and my mom. But if it wasn't for them,  God knows what would be happening or how my body would be acting if it wasn't for their constant care day and night. this journey isnt over but im doing my best to stay positive and calm. i cant say everyday im not scared because i am scared but i have a little mister that i want to meet and start my life with him and with his daddy for as many years possible with permission from God. I cant stop saying this but all i want is for the opportunity to start this new chapter in our lives with my son and my husband to see him grow, start his family and continue this intense amount of love i have for the best husband i could of been blessed with.