Surprise baby shower!

With everything going on and being in bed rest, I was very sad we had to cancel our baby shower. For the past few months, I had worked on how to decorate, games, prizes, cakes everything to have a nice fun time. I think since Feb we had been buying things getting things prepared. Our baby shower was suppose to be on May 2 but we told everyone we couldn't have it anymore. To me, it wasn't about receiving gifts, it was so we could all celebrate our happiness of waiting on our little mister. One day, Luis had to tell me something, a secret but he didn't want me to say anything to anyone. He said him, my mom and his mom were planning a surprise baby shower at our home. I really couldn't believe it, I had so many questions in my head since it was so unexpected. He told me he was handling everything and that on Friday he was going to take half a day off to go and decorate our home, get cake ready, and get last minute things for the following day. Friday night, Luis took me home and I saw how beautiful our home was decorated!  It was much better then what I expected! I was so surprised! The following day it was baby shower day! Mom was with us early that day to help with a few things but my handsome was handling so much running back and forth to make our home ready and perfect for my baby shower. I was surprised by how many people showed up for a last minute party! It meant a lot to have the propel that were there, I didn't expect that many. I had a great time but I could feel that I was getting a bit over whelmed, it was to many people in a small space that was so hot! I managed to do the games, fits and cake and I had to say bye to everyone, I really needed to lay down. My blood pressure came out a bit higher then expected but with a little rest, it calmed down. I felt bad because I know how hard this was all done in such a short time and for me to not feel well to stay around and enjoy it much longer. But everyone understood. I had a wonderful time and was so grateful for all that we received and for our family and friends that were there with us. I wish I could enjoyed my last weeks as being pregnant like any other person, but having our baby shower made me feel like we were able to do another normal thing before our little mister arrives. 

Pre Eclampsia

Since i got pregnant, i kept worrying about not gaining to much weight and i feared getting gestational diabetes. Many weeks went on and i cant say pregnancy has been bad like others say and complain about. But in April, i did start to see things changing. I would wake up feeling so awful, my heart would be pounding, i felt light headed, weak, no energy, like if i was going to faint if i didnt lay down. On top of that, i would get a pain around the middle of my chest area in the same spot that was pretty sharp. i would feel it if i would get up, sit, sneeze, cough, but it would only last a few seconds. On April 22nd, i had a monthly doctor check up. I went alone since i thought like all other appointments, i would be in and out in no time. Luis was at work, no need for him to go to the doctor with me for a quick visit. i had  my blood pressure checked but i wasnt told what the number was. When i saw my doctor, i mentioned to her how i had been feeling for the past 2 weeks and also mentioned my pain. She said it could be gall bladder but that she had seen my blood pressure was high, that it was better i went to labor and delivery for a ultrasound, if all was well, i could go home that same day. i left the  clinic and went to labor and delivery but first i called luis to tell him what was going on. i was scared so i started crying, he assured me he would be on his way to meet up with me. Within minutes, i was in a room, given scrubs and was told to pee in a cup. Perhaps 15-20 min into everything, Luis was by my side. I had an ultrasound done of my kidney, lungs, another ultrasound to check my heart and another for baby. Few hours into it, doctor came in and told us they had found protein in my urine, that i needed to stay for 24 hours to check for pre eclampsia but if all was well, we could go home the following day. That night,  mom and Luis stayed with me, mom was going to leave but i needed her there that night. I went in for a regular dr check up and here i was in the hospital with protein in my urine, high blood pressure numbers and having no idea what the heck everything meant. The next day, finally the 24 hrs test was done and we needed to wait for all results. that afternoon, i had my parents and luis with me when the doctor walked in and said what has changed so much for me. she told me i had mild pre eclampsia, i had protein of 542 in my urine and it was best i stayed at hospital for the next 9 weeks til baby was 37 weeks or if needed to, they would deliver Liam in a emergency c section. Everything was so fast that i had no idea what dr was talking about, all i remember saying to her is that i wanted to go home and i couldnt stay here for 9 weeks. I asked her what was the worst that could happen from having this and she said death for me or baby... it's like my heart, world, everything stopped and turned dark... what the heck happened? i had been feeling okay, my weight was fine, i had no diabetes, baby was growing, how could i end up with this disease that could hurt us so much?! i was in complete denial of staying, i felt like i was being put to jail and i had no right to leave the hospital floor. the doctor left quickly and i was there left with so much anger, i just told my parents what we were told but mom tried to be supportive and said we were in the best place to make sure we would be okay. Her and dad then went to the store to get things for me, i had nothing, no toothbrush, shampoo, soap, nothing to prepare to stay for the next 9 weeks. Thats when i saw things differently... here i was in this bed so angry with myself, the doctor, everything, just being negative but i didnt get to see how this was hurting Luis. I hardly ever see him cry, hes a strong person and stays to himself, but seeing him break down and telling me he needed me to be strong for Liam made me completely snap. Why was i reacting that way if i have this horrible thing and i need to do whats best for myself and my little handsome. Little by little, things got better, i started to accept me having to stay for weeks but everytime my parents would visit and they would leave i couldnt help but get emotional because i wasn't allowed to leave, i wanted to leave with them. Mom took 3 months off work to be with me, during the day while Luis worked, she would be with me, right after work, Luis would spend the afternoon and night with me at the hospital. I would have a few visitors here and there but when the room would have more then 2 people,i felt very overwhelmed. small space, lot of people, not good haha. Every 4 hours, i would get checked on, day and night, it was tough to get good rest or good sleep. On that Sunday, one of the doctors said lets do the 24 hr test again since things have been looking good, my blood pressure was staying normal and ultrasounds were coming out good. he said there could be a chance we could go home. I didnt want to get my hopes up but secretly, i was hoping for good news. The next day, on monday, another dr came by and said my protein had actually gone up to 598 and she didnt think i would be let to go home, even if they saw the numbers the same. I was upset but expected it to happen. I had to keep hanging in there. Tuesday, Luis went to work and mom and me were in the room when my dr came in that morning. She told me that since things were all looking stable, she wanted me to get some blood work done, if they came back good, we could go home, but if not of course we'd need to continue staying. Mom got happy but i didnt want to get happy, not again. She told me not to tell no one, my dad, franco or luis so that they wouldn't get their hopes up either. Around 1pm, my nurse came in, she seemed a bit serious and said "youre going home" right away mom and me started crying! we were going home?! after 7 days and 6 nights, we could go home thanks to things being stable!! i called luis and told him he needed to come back to hospital because we were being sent home. he was so surprised and excited... he got there within 15 min lol. mom quickly started packing up when the nurse told us we were going home. From there, it meant 2 days a week going to the doctor and once a week going to high risk doctor for my ultrasounds. i have strict bed rest at home... for that, during the week, Luis and i stay at my parents so mom can help me while luis is at work. Fridays afternoon, we come home for the weekend and here i have my mister doing everything and anything for me. i dont know what i would do without my mom and my handsome. As of now, im currently 32 weeks and 6 days... ill be 33 weeks tomorrow, we pray for things to stay stable for 4 more weeks. Although last Thursday, i had a dr appt where my blood pressure came out in the 140s over 80s twice so i was sent to labor and delivery once again for 24 hr test. i was upset but i had to hide it since mom was with me, i know she was upset as well. Luis joined us within minutes and we did the same process of 4 hours checks and 24 hr urine test.the next day luis went to work and mom stayed with me at the hospital. around 4pm, the nurse came in with a paper and told me she isnt supposed to be telling us but she had written down the number of my protein results ( i was scared to see it much higher then the last 598 reading) it was 472!! it had actually went down a few points!! i wanted to cry,i looked at mom and she was already crying. i know all of this has been extremely tough, not only on me but luis and my mom. But if it wasn't for them,  God knows what would be happening or how my body would be acting if it wasn't for their constant care day and night. this journey isnt over but im doing my best to stay positive and calm. i cant say everyday im not scared because i am scared but i have a little mister that i want to meet and start my life with him and with his daddy for as many years possible with permission from God. I cant stop saying this but all i want is for the opportunity to start this new chapter in our lives with my son and my husband to see him grow, start his family and continue this intense amount of love i have for the best husband i could of been blessed with.

Your daddy is...

The most wonderful person in the whole entire world. Liam, if you ever read this, you have no idea what kind of daddy God is giving you. Since day one that I met your daddy, I knew in my heart my world would change, that he was the person for me. Something in him I could see that my heart just wanted to be with him . My heart wasn't wrong. With time, I thought I completely loved your dad but everyday he gives me a new reason why I love him even more then the day before. I always wonder why am I so blessed to have him? What have I done to deserve him. Whichever reason, I am so amazed by him everyday. These past years being with him, I've had a few downs and not once does he leave my side. It makes me realize how much strength I get next to his side. Many say I'm a strong person but now with your daddy, even when I'm scared, nothing can defeat me. I stay strong, happy, confident, and tough for him... Because of him. He's shown me so much. How to believe in myself, how to ignore those that don't matter, to be positive when times are just crumbling down, he makes me want to be a better person. When we were at the hospital for a whole week, at night when he would sleep, I couldn't help but just watch him, admire him and realize I'm never going to be alone. That I had to stay strong through all tests and procedures for him and you. Now being at home on bed rest, again, he is doing so much once more. He has to work a full time job, yet still comes home to take care of me, clean our home, wash clothes and cooks for me. Everything without one compliant or even thinking twice about doing something for me. Your dad is the person I always dreamed about, the person I would hope to one day have just like my grandma and grandpa have that undying love for each other. I hope and pray that one day my little handsome, you can follow in your dad's footsteps. I hope for one day, you grow to be a strong, confident great man. That you learn to love others, put others first, and always have your heart open to love. This world can be so tough but you'll never be alone. You have a daddy who loves you beyond words could ever say. He has loved you since the moment he found out we were having you. You'll always have your daddy's support and love to make it through anything and conquer the world. Liam, we are more then blessed to have your daddy. I can't wait til you're here with us so you can see for yourself the gift that God is giving you, the best daddy in the world.